Walls

It seems like everything is broken in our house. The toaster, the oven, the dishwasher, the kettle, so when Sam’s call came, her hysterical, inarticulate call, I thought perhaps she was broken as well. “Mum…” was all I could make sense of between the fast paced agonising cries in her voice, so I said, “hang on I’ll call you back.” I told the children “It will be okay but I need to call Sam back and so you could all just pray while I do.” Their little heads dropped in unison on their folded hands and all at once I heard their “Dear God…” requests for Sam. “Maybe just a little more quietly?” I suggested, “God hears our whisper prayers as well.”

“I’m coming home, Sam.” I said when she answered, “Its all right, I’ll be there soon.” I lined the children up at the door, lead them into the other room and I left making phone calls to get a replacement teacher for my class. God being God, it was easy, everything was seamless allowing me to take Sam through the process of seeing the GP, getting referrals then taking her to X-ray. I was also able to follow up on the results of the ear swab taken a week ago, which by now had cultivated a result, a heavy growth of staphylococcus aureus. This leads to dizziness, headaches and untreated can be fatal in her immune suppressed state. With this information I made phone calls to our ear specialist to get her on a stronger anti-biotic and to our haemotologist to check that the anti-biotic didn’t conflict with any of her other drugs.

Sam had forgotten to take her thyroxcin tablet this morning and came inside to retrieve it from the fridge. On her way back to her room, she decided to dash, feeling cold in the morning air. Before doing so she picked up the dog for a cuddle in her room and that is when her little toe became stuck in the leg of her pyjamas, that is when she tripped and fell, screaming to her knees. Home alone and afraid of breaking bones Sam lay there screaming, “Help me, help me,” until her cries and Rusty’s barks caused the neighbour from across the road to come to her aide. Our neighbour picked her up and carried her safely to her bed and that is when she called me, just after the morning bell that ushers my 5 years old children into my room at school.

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about broken things, systems that don’t work, organisations that don’t change, big ideas without attention to detail and no follow up. Organisations like our public hospital system where you have to fight for a bed, or to talk to the doctor, or follow up on your own tests because you are just a number not a person and no one really cares.

Sometimes in life we find ourselves in positions we don’t want to be in, we are stuck; we don’t know how to change things either. We see that its broken but we don’t know what to do and we cower inside. Life is intimidating, demanding, pressured and sometimes our hearts grow numb to all the causes we know we should do something about, all the people who need our help, all the funds that seek to raise our awareness. We sit and stare at the television screen and we sigh, overwhelmed by all the tragedy and loss. Then we build a wall. Walls are useful for so many things, they insulate us from pain, they protect us from the enemy, and they shield us from the harsh wind that blows outside. The walls are useful until the frost builds on our windows, the chill permeates through our rooms and the fear of uncertainty hangs in the atmosphere like the scent of rising damp.

When its your people you care like Nehemiah cared about the ‘remnant of Jews who were in great trouble and reproach; the wall of Jerusalem that was broken down and its fortified gates destroyed.’ (Nehemiah 1:3) When it’s your children you hear the news and after sitting down and weeping, you fast and pray for days. You plead your case to God reminding Him of who you are and the covenant you have. You say “O Lord, let Your ear be attentive to Your servant,” You pray for favour with the doctors in the same way Nehemiah prayed for favour with the king. You see all that is in ruins and position yourselves even though the enemy mocks you, even though you’re aware that you are no more than a cupbearer, a simple person with no great skill. Through it all, through the pain, through the suffering and relentless grief you discover that you have what it takes to hear God’s voice to discover a strategy and to re-build.

God is renovating lives
He is positioning people
He sees their value,
He hears their cries.
He isn’t leaving them the way He found them
He’s rebuilding the walls
He’s frustrating the plan of the enemy.

Sam’s bones were not broken but her toe is bruised and there’s soft tissue damage all around her knee. The doctor says she won’t be walking for another week, she’s on crutches and her spirit is wounded as well. Sometimes it feels like the wall that protects our lives is only half built that it may never to be completed but God sets armed men behind the wall in the places that are least protected. They remind us to be brave because they fight alongside us, valiant in prayer, generous in practical help and gracious, encouraging words.

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8 Comments

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8 responses to “Walls

  1. amazing.. thankYOU for caring. your words are encouraging and full of life. i so appreciate that. my prayers are with you. xx

  2. Berni

    In our prayers Clare. The prayers of those little ones are so beautiful amd precious. They help to build the army to support Sam. Send her our love and blessings from all the Kindy mums xxx B

    • Clare Froggatt

      Berni, it’s true. That first five minutes of the morning is the most amazing, ‘tingly’ time of the day as they offer up prayers of great faith for sore ankles, sick grandpas, daddy’s trip, dying goldfish, scratches on arms, no dots! I am grateful for their prayers yesterday as I am everyday and their complete commitment to remind me it’s the most important time of the day.

  3. Jane Grover

    “The kingdom of heaven suffers violence and the violent take it by force.”
    Oh Clare I’m with you on the wall or the rebuilding of the wall wherever you need a hand, what a day for you, it is so such a fight for you all daily isn’t it xx
    But we must continue to fight, we have no choice but to get up again and again and again, although some days it just does all seem so hard and seemingly never to come to an end.
    I’ll say this… at the end of the book we win, the Devil comes to kill, steal and destroy.. But I have come that you may have LIFE, abundant life and have it to the full Jesus said xx keep walking my friend Clare, Jesus by His blood has already written the end of the story, I know you love a story and I am not wanting to spoil it for you by telling you the ending….but I must remind you that the ending is….. that while your teamed up with Jesus YOU WIN xx so in your face Devil your time is short.. grrrrrr BUT we, we will rise together time and time again strengthening the wall, filling the gaps until victory is ours…mmmm I feel better now I have got that off my chest….hope you do too xx thankful for no broken bones xx

  4. kristiananderson

    I just came home from having an abscess on my back drained….it was the size of a golf ball but the local didn’t numb it as much as I would have liked and I felt most of the cutting of my skin while the doctor did his thing. I’m right in the middle of a round of chemotherapy and my immune system is shot, and I have heavy work commitments that cannot be shifted or passed to someone else. I’m overwhelmed and so I’m sitting here feeling pretty sorry for myself right now.

    But then I read your post and realised that I need to dig deeper. I have to defend what God has entrusted me with… my own life and the well being of my wife and two little boys. I have to have one hand working at rebuilding the wall and one hand holding a sword.

    You’re right.

    All of this is being overseen by God and he hears our cries for help. Whether they be loud like Sam’s or whispered through gritted teeth in between scalpel cuts, like mine. Heaven hears and the cry is not ignored.

    In my mind’s eye I see God moving through the corridors of Heaven. The swift, determined footsteps of a General ordering his armies to war. Mobilising legion upon legion of mighty warrior angels to go out on my behalf, on Sam’s behalf, on your behalf.

    There are angels around my bed tonight. Some are there for comfort, some are there to fight.

  5. Cheryl

    Dearest Clare,
    I am reminded of my dear John’s fight for his life with Leukemia, when our Christopher was only 2.
    Sadly, he went home to be with the Lord in 1994
    Only 31 years old. So much of what you write is helping my heart, still after all these years. You really are in my prayers & shall stay there, for I see such a bright & beautiful future that you are fighting for with Sam! She is truly amazing, brave & lovely girl & I so appreciate how you are standing & loving all your family through this battle – which as we know, belongs to the Lord. What a victory you have accomplished & I pray our Lord & Saviour keeps sending favor upon favor, & His shalom while He hides you all in the shadow of His wing. For the girl on a swing!! Bless you xxx Cheryl

  6. Skie

    Wowzers, trousers. What a mountain of a day,sometimes it would seem every nasty thing is on our heels.
    I think one of the enemies main tactics is to wear out the saints,especially when he comes accross those special ones with faces & hearts set like flint,set on victory,set on healing,set on promise a hope & a future. Set on believing when all the circumstances in every room are falling apart. Don’t grow weary in doing good, for at the apointed time you will reap the harvest of prayers, the rewards of standing,believing.
    He is a God who sees.
    Thinking of Hagar. She wasn’t even an israelite,not even a chosen one, she was used & abused by Sarah & is often refered to as ab’s mistake …but God sees her sitting in the desert, hears her relentless cries on behalf of her son & her eyes are opened to the near by spring, gen 21:16-19
    may you come accross a spring / well today & may refreshing living waters shower your world,may you be hedged in on every side & may you continue to have the strength to stand & fight today.
    All heaven is behind you.

  7. and so I’m laying in an ICU bed of yet another hospital, crying even though there’s no one here to hear me. walls walls walls. It’s like seven walls go up for every one wall that comes down. Sigh. I need to…I don’t know. Pray. For you, me, sam. Everyone. We so need a miracle.
    Love you xx

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